The other day I realized that I was looking at some people differently. Good, Bad, or Indifferent, I look at them in the same way as I thought they looked at me. You might wonder how could you figure out how someone looked at yourself? I may be wrong but I think it is quite easy.
You see, majority of people without even knowing it will look at you certain ways, say certain things, and overall just treat you certain ways. That is not to say its all bad. Each person has their own baseline. But if you know the people around you then you will be able to pick it up.
I had the opportunity to attend some training provided by a former spook. While you will never find any group of people that saw the same thing, you can take what they do tell you and extrapolate facts from it. You watch their body language, tone, eye movements, word choice to determine what they want you to hear.
Once you can unlock these secrets you will better understand that communication in general is quite flawed. It is rare that you find someone that is transparent. Even when you do, you can look at how they base decisions on, the choices they make and their priorities to help you determine what their goals are.
This has served me well in personal life as well as business. How many meetings must we sit through bored. Instead, start to track people and create their baselines. Because then you will be able to use this information to help you make informed choices.
Personally I use this to determine the amount of effort or care I apply to the situation in question. For example I read that someone is sincere and passionate about a project, I apply myself likewise. If I can read someone really cares about something else and is not going to apply themselves, I match their commitment.
There was a time that I thought I was wrong. Then again, the only reason I thought I was wrong about a read, was the person I read after the fact said that I was wrong. History and experience with this person taught me that I was most likely right. Because the fact that I “might” be wrong played to their advantage.
Oh this is the trouble with working with people on projects… Or the trouble with people in life. As I grow I learn that I like people less… 🙂